Thursday, January 22, 2015

The good and the bad.

Here's to screwing up and looking stupid in front of a lot of people that you respect.
Here's to nothing going right and really shitty freaking days.
Here's to feeling sick and exhausted and your heart pattering in awkward beats.
Those days when you wake up off and puke off the side of your horse and can't figure a damn thing out.
Here's to crying on the kitchen floor and punching pillows and cussing at the moon because he's the only one who will listen. 
Here's to saying the words that you shouldn't.
I never knew I was the kind of person that would want to curl up in the corner.
I thought I was stronger. Tougher than that.
Until it hit me. 
Everything that could go wrong did and everybody that said they would didn't.
It all shook and trembled and blew into about a thousand dusty pieces.
With me right at its heart.
When I dared open my eyes all I saw was the bones of what I had tried to build.
I looked up and there stood a skeleton that told me I had failed.


Here's to the days that you roped amazingly well, your horses felt like silk beneath you and you drew a good cow.
Here's to the practices without hiccups when their bodies were sensitive and feely.
Here's to the days when you finally felt the satisfaction of your work.
And those superb conversations you had on the phone and across dusty table tops, in cabins and standing in dirt.
I believe in giggle fits at all hours of the night and day and I think everyone needs an unexpected kiss now and then.
Here's to telling someone the bloody truth and being accepted for it.
I love those morning when you wake up feeling more alive than when you curled up only hours before.
Here's to the unbelievable moments that feel like you're dreaming and everything is falling into place at your fingertips.
Here's to whispering at 2 am about old regrets and favorite movies and saying things you don't normally say.
I never knew that some of the most wonderful opportunities and gifts and friends often come from the oddest of circumstances.
Here's to the never-ending high hopes for love.

Here's to the bloody, bastardly days that never end soon enough and here's to the nostalgic and almost perfect days that make the bad ones worth while.


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