Saturday, October 24, 2015

Fall is coming on.

Can you feel the cold chilling your fingertips and fall wrapping around you?
The way it bites at your cheeks and tangles in your hair.
Can you hear it whispering through the willow trees down by the creek?
And see snow dusting the peaks? 
Like old lovers reuniting, missing each other all summer long. 
Is the cold air stinging your warm lungs, can you feel the change in your heart?
Does it feel like home?
Look at the shaggy coats on the ponies.
They were all slick as seals in the summer heat and their tallow thinning with use.
But they are beefing up for the winter now and getting all sassy in the brisk mornings.
Doesn't it feel so good to have a stingy horse wriggling beneath you?
Winter is coming on and I can feel it in my bones, no more careless jumping off of panels cause that cold feeling has coming shocking up our legs already. 
Are you pulling your wool caps off the rack and smashing your unruly hair down with felt instead of straw? 
Do you have thicker hides of leather wrapping your legs?
I hope you've felt how I have.

When you swing a leg over a frisky colt in cold weather and your gut turns a little.
You look over at your sissy and grin through your chattering teeth and a lipstick smile.
She's doing the same. 
And there's two braids blowing in the frosty breeze. 
Your collars are popped and wild rags knotted around your necks, cotton gloves on your hands holding mecate reins. 
With the wind making your mascara'ed eyes water and your nose and cheeks flushed pink. 
I hope you watch the sunrise between your favorite horse's ears and I hope someday you get him in the bridle and that every ounce of sweat you put into him was worth it to you. 
With your shivering body I hope you warm up trotting out over big country and I want you to feel the ups and downs in the splay of land. 
I hope you feel the conflict in yourself that I have and that you feel a horse coil up beneath you walking on eggshells. 
And by the end of the day I hope he's all sensitive and broke feeling and that you're not sore.
But I hope you're tired, the good exhausted.
Go sit by the fire place and have another cup of coffee. 

I wish that for you. 

Fall is coming on. 

Loves, Gussie Lou

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Good Morning Desert

Good morning desert, whisper something to me. Sing a lullaby and tell me your secrets. Or tell me lies and stories that are stowed away in your gullies. Burn me with the sun rising over your mountain tops because to burn is to feel and to feel is to be alive. Every little pinprick of pain like a reminder that I'm sensitive and vulnerable. Rain pounding on my skin, heart on my sleeve. Muddy streams tracing the edges of my boots. Spur rowels whispering low in the morning singing the song we've heard so long. The one that called all of us here in the first place, the one that sings to our souls instead of our ears. Reminding us what we were born for and leading us quiet and strong further away from the world. Because we felt it once, now we crave it. The scenes play out in our dreams, our hearts feel it even then. We're standing with sage and dust around us, a horse between our knees and hearts pounding fiercely from our rib cages. Finally we feel alive, vibrating with energy and emotion. Inside there's a spirit passed down through generations and it's swelling. The goosebumps on our arms, Levi jackets, collars popped. The feeling of chills in the morning and sweat by noon. Tying the new age cowboy to the old, doing the same job with just a few more fences. I look up at dark clouds and let it fold around me. Can you hear the raindrops splattering on my hat brim? It hits loud like a homey tune that quiets the soul and horses snort at quick streams, breathing heavy off the hillside. Long trot in mud and sleep short nights, it's good at being bad for us. All for sanity. I pray you stay busy and your hands stay sore.
Hugs, Gussie

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I hope you've felt alive...

I hope you woke up early and drank a hot cup of coffee. I hope you watched the sunrise over whatever landscape plays out in front of you. I dreamed last night that I could only live one year of my life and it dawned on me that the year that I would want to live was this one. I've felt real pain, real love; how it is all gorgeous and jaw dropping, puts butterflies in your stomach and finally just over. I've felt horses ball up beneath my weight and quiver with strength. I've climbed up to heights just to look down and I've laughed when I've fallen. I hope you've felt alive and seen your fingers trembling. I hope you're not afraid. Because it's all so beautiful and so flawless. I hope you crave the sun on your skin and the wind chilling your arms. I hope you know what it's like to feel unpredictable. To know that there is no way of knowing how you feel. Let that sink in because you'll know when you need to. Until then there is plenty of time to just be; and feel. Time will show that letting go isn't what it seems or what it should be. You can't just open your fist and watch the wind carry the pain away on its wings. And your tears, they stay on the surface begging for a memory to let them free fall. But they'll slip off your cheeks and fade and seep back into the earth that they came from. It's hard tho because the heart that throbs deep in your chest is not wise. It gives love to characters not fit for it and your heart strings tie ridiculous knots. Don't worry, you're strong and your spirit is vibrant. Go sit next to a river. I promise you'll love it. Or go lay on a mountain top and breathe deep breathes. The world is not about the pain we feel. It's about the heart we leave in the pieces we touch and the smiles we give to sorrowful souls. It's about the strength we build and the lessons learned. You are strong and you are different but you are not wrong. Remember that. Sometimes you'll make poor choices and sometimes you'll hurt but there's a rainbow after the rain. 

Xoxo, Gussie