Toxic

There's something I want to talk to you about. And there's someone I'll probably never get the chance to apologize to, not the way that I should anyway.
So here goes.

I believe in energy. Good and bad, and I think you can use it to your advantage. But it is so powerful that if you aren't careful what you do with it, you can get in trouble, break hearts and push people away.

I believe in toxic people. The kind that drain you mentally and physically. The kind that you get in the car with and instantly want to get out because instead of pulling you up they are dragging you down.

Everyone can be toxic. I've been toxic without realizing it. It has taken a lot of thinking back to acknowledge it, and I'm sorry for it. That being said, just because at one point in time you were a toxic person doesn't mean you always are.
Now let me tell you who becomes your victim.

• Your best friend
• Your sibling(s) 
• Your significant other
• Anyone who is "there for you"

Wait, aren't they the people we want to protect not hurt?

But they listen and they try to understand the struggle. They have their hand on your shoulder and they tell you that you'll get through it and that everything will be okay.

And slowly we begin to take them for granted; we need more and more of this reassurance and we suck them dry. Then we lose them and it is so damned painful because we thought we were standing on rock bottom and then that last layer just got jerked out from underneath us.

But this is a chance to build yourself again. To make something of yourself that is revolutionary and amazing. It is going to be painful, but you can do it.

So take a little time, pick up that person who is so faithfully there for you and go for a drive. Buy them a drink, thank them for always being there for you, make some amazing memories and laugh with them. You'll be glad you did and so will they.

Now from the other side.

We can't let ourselves be used and abused. We're better than that. We can't let people drag us down.

But remember that we have said "I love you" to this person before, and they believed us. We have been their shoulder to cry on and they need us. And doesn't it feel amazing to know that someone trusts you enough to need you?

Sometimes they will be in a dark place, but that is TEMPORARY.

We have to do what we need to do. Take the risks we need to take. Use some self preservation. But I want us to remember the smiles and laughs and I want to realize that everyone goes through a hard time. 

But remember one thing for me. Please. Here's some brain food to think on.

Loving people is hard, I know. Especially when you can't understand how they feel.

But you said "I love you" and leaving someone when they need you most, that's not love. You don't leave someone you love exactly when they need you the most. 

XoXo, Gussie

P.S. I'm here for you.

gus.keetch@hotmail.com