Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I hope you've felt alive...

I hope you woke up early and drank a hot cup of coffee. I hope you watched the sunrise over whatever landscape plays out in front of you. I dreamed last night that I could only live one year of my life and it dawned on me that the year that I would want to live was this one. I've felt real pain, real love; how it is all gorgeous and jaw dropping, puts butterflies in your stomach and finally just over. I've felt horses ball up beneath my weight and quiver with strength. I've climbed up to heights just to look down and I've laughed when I've fallen. I hope you've felt alive and seen your fingers trembling. I hope you're not afraid. Because it's all so beautiful and so flawless. I hope you crave the sun on your skin and the wind chilling your arms. I hope you know what it's like to feel unpredictable. To know that there is no way of knowing how you feel. Let that sink in because you'll know when you need to. Until then there is plenty of time to just be; and feel. Time will show that letting go isn't what it seems or what it should be. You can't just open your fist and watch the wind carry the pain away on its wings. And your tears, they stay on the surface begging for a memory to let them free fall. But they'll slip off your cheeks and fade and seep back into the earth that they came from. It's hard tho because the heart that throbs deep in your chest is not wise. It gives love to characters not fit for it and your heart strings tie ridiculous knots. Don't worry, you're strong and your spirit is vibrant. Go sit next to a river. I promise you'll love it. Or go lay on a mountain top and breathe deep breathes. The world is not about the pain we feel. It's about the heart we leave in the pieces we touch and the smiles we give to sorrowful souls. It's about the strength we build and the lessons learned. You are strong and you are different but you are not wrong. Remember that. Sometimes you'll make poor choices and sometimes you'll hurt but there's a rainbow after the rain. 

Xoxo, Gussie

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