Saturday, September 5, 2015


Last night as I was whispering in a raspy voice I told somebody to write down how they feel about everything once a week for the rest of the year. He started laughing and told me that it was weird and he couldn't do it. He said that he had a hard enough time telling someone his feelings much less writing them on paper.
I forget that emotions don't bleed out of people the way they do with me. I forget that others are better at suppressing and dealing with things than I am.
But here's the deal. I know what it's like to read something and think "Thank God someone else has felt like this." I know how it feels when you can't express what is tormenting you. 
So I'm doing this for you. I hope you can feel me. I hope your hearts burn when you read these words the same way mine does when I write them. If you can't say it, if it just hurts too much then I want to say it for you.

We're all really broken. And I know that doesn't sound comforting but it's true. And sometimes we'll feel more broken. And that's alright. Some mornings you'll wake up with a lump in your throat and teardrops on the rim of your eyelids. It's just how it goes. Your hands might be quivering but they are still strong. Your voice might be unsteady but it still makes sound. Some days the demons you've hidden away may come back to haunt you. They might sneak into your mind from nothing. From little things; like dark truck cabs and old pictures. But you're tougher than hell and you've made it this far. Keep your head up and dig your heels in cause these ugly hours will pass. Sometimes fear will take control and it'll be terrifying with our weaknesses splayed out in front of us on a silver platter. But you put yourself there and how strong you must be to have allowed yourself to open your eyes this wide. It's easy to stay safe, to stay blind. It's hard to grow and get tough. But calluses come after blisters. And if you can still be your sensitive self with calluses on your hands, then you're a badass. Cling to that.

Xoxo, Gussie

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