Friday, June 12, 2015

Hazy Promises

I’ve been on the warm side of cold shoulders and on the bloody side of love.
I saw the broken hearts of others, the fake smiles on their faces and tried so desperately to fix them...I guess I never quite got it.
The way you feel shredded inside and the sun seems either oddly dim or annoyingly bright. 
Naive. Yeah, I guess that’s what you’d call it.

And I hate writing about love.
It's too much in my head and the more I try to sort it out the more confusing it becomes. 
You know the way it is untying knots... how it looks more simple from the outside but there are thousands of strings being pulled each way.
I think that's what my emotions must look like. 
So I'll focus on the horses and the way things seem to work out so surprisingly perfect; the way opportunity is falling into my hands. 
I love the way their dark eyes look at me so differently than any others and I'm not afraid.
Hints of pain haunt my writing and I want you to know there are reasons.
One you day you'll touch your skin and it'll be cold but it's going to warm up, I promise.
You'll look in the mirror and see those tears falling like little clear pebbles but they'll dry up, I promise. 
Pain is temporary, that's what they all say anyway. 
I won't lie to you. Sometimes your heart is going to look ugly, like a tornado came and overturned your secrets. 
You're okay though.
Flaws become your perfections in someone else's eyes. 
Take a deep breathe and look at the sky.
You are the sky.
Some days you'll be dark and stormy and mad at the world, screaming and stomping and tormenting with winds and rains. 
Oh but darling, those days make the prettiest sunsets.

XoXo, Gussie

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