Cowboy Love Story

I tripped, you laughed.
New beginnings, the first hello.
Awkward handshakes, big dark eyes.
Broke horses playing on their checkerboard beneath us. 
My braid all tangled with dust.
Lost loves still dragging on coattails.
Forever clutzy and staring at the clouds.
Long ropes, tarnished bits.
Big dreams and open hearts.
Your smile, my blushing cheeks.
Sun tanned skin, rope burned hands.
Two deep conversations and one long kiss.
Silver rings, horsehair lacing my fingers.
Dust on your face, a ripped shirt sleeve.
Fearless.
You carried a story with you.
I could see it from a mile away.
Reckless memories and fears that stop you in your footprints.
Tell them to me.
First wink, your arms wrapped around me.
Twirl me around. 
Cowboy love story.
Forever lost and forever found. 

XoXo Gussie

I Swear I Lived

I have too much to say and can't get it out fast enough.
Mostly just spitting angry words at the sun.
Life's rough, knives cut.
Fear or be feared.
Bleed or draw blood.
I shouldn't encourage your willingness to cause pain, but damn is it better than feeling it.
Trust me; I know. 
I've got welts on my hands and memories of cigarette kisses in bars.
Stayed up half the night tipsy on Jack.
Felt like hell in the morning with dragon breath and half a name left.
Running reckless and fearless dying to feel something.
I've got a scar below my left eye and an old rope burn across my arm.
Crying old tears, ones that should've spilled years ago but I'm too stubborn to let go.

Let me just tell you a thing or two...and I'm fully aware of how little I know, but still
Here's the thing, I want you to live life really full.
And really free.
I want you to know a real love.
One that comes with good morning kisses and shoulders that are actually there for you to cry on and lips that are yours to kiss.
A love that doesn't ditch you in a metaphorical dark alley with nothing but a cheap dress and wine on your lips.
I want you to have good memories.
I get it. Pain comes, I have the bruises.
But you have the right to own your scars.
You've been bloodied up and choked out, you've been caught in the abyss.
You're still standing though.
Your arms, though they may be weak are still upright bearing the weight of your try.
Your heart is still pounding out of your chest with a loud, earth shattering call.
And look how tough you must be.
The most badass thing you'll ever get to say is "I lived."
I swear I lived full, hard and fierce.
With wind burning my eyes and blood trickling down my cheek. 
I lived.


XoXo, Gussie

P.S.... LIVE!

You're Strong

I won't stand for it.
I don't want to hear you say you can't.
I'm not going to let you lie there in misery.
Get your ass up and if you want it, get it.
No one is standing in your way, and if they are box your way out.
Life's much too short to only dream.
You need to live.
And it may not be smart, it may not be pretty but if it's what you crave, it's what you need.
Don't die without a story.
Don't survive without scars.
Pain is a beautiful thing.
You're strong.
If you want an adventure, create it.
Run free if that's what you need.
Be a child of reckless wanderlust.
Be an architect, be a mechanic.
Be a gypsy.
Be a cowboy.
Just whatever you do, make damn sure your heart is in it.
Xoxo, Gussie

Stay True

Cold, hard hearts wreaking havoc everywhere you turn.
Look up, look around, it's all okay now.
Let me see the light in your eyes.
Then tell me all your secrets, save all your lies.
Shivering fingers and scarred, sunburned skin.
Hoof beats whispering, calling louder the closer they come.
Long strides, big country and tired eyes.
There's a lot of things running through my mind.
Like horses and whisky.
The moon and you.
Tell me a good story.
Burning our pains with good vibes and kisses goodnight.
I hope you don't cry too hard and I hope you keep a soft heart.
I hope you never let anyone break your spirit.
I hope you don't become a slate for others to etch upon the bad habits they learned in a broken home.
Get tough and stay tough.
Be the right kind of beautiful.
The kind with Jesus in your heart and love in your eyes.
You can get weak, it's okay. I've been there and it's ugly.
But stay true, you really can get through it.
I promise you that. I really do promise.

Xoxo, Gussie

Keep Living

There's a thousand things I wish for you and a thousand more I'd tell you.

If you were listening. 

The moon is awfully bright and smiling down on me tonight.

I wonder why our minds work the way they do.

And why our hearts can't fathom logic. 

I pray you don't live a pretty life.

I pray that you dont live a normal life, with the typical milestones and routine.

In the end the ones that never looked good on paper are the most majestic.

I pray that you feel fear and find strength.

And I hope there's a peice of your soul that's never at rest, that's longing for freedom.

I pray that you find a flower child in your veins.

There's few greater gifts than that. 

Keep running.

Keep moving.

Keep hiking.

Keep breathing.

Keep seeing and hearing and feeling.

Keep changing.

I pray you feel love, deep and true and painful. 

The kind that leaves fingerprints on your heart. 

I pray you live a life of reckless, beautiful chaos and learn how to tell your story.

After all, life was meant to be lived.

You weren't meant to merely exist. 

You were meant to live.

Keep living.

XoXo, Gussie

Brave

She was a really lost girl in a really harsh world. A world that wanted her to know who and what she was before she was even sixteen years old. He was in the same boat with her. A world where innocence is robbed and sanity mocked, lives taken and no remorse. And nobody is getting out alive. 

Didn't you say once that you'd be damned if you died without a story to tell? Well here's your story. 

You were born too wild and God forbid your children follow in your footsteps. You have a heart with too much love and a soul with too much wanderlust. You're a little bit gone astray in some ill-advised ways, but Jesus loves you and Jesus saves. You found healing in dark places for the wrongs that'd been done to you. You quietted your demons with louder demons and sometimes it worked. Most of the time not. But you're living. You fought until you were bloody fisted, with your eyes afire and you're going places. There was pain piled on heartaches, and more yet to come but you chose not to walk with fear on your cheeks. You found your passions young, that takes a lot, more than you'd think. And you let the wind carry you like gypsies do. Hold your shoulders square, you're a brave son of a bitch.

Xoxo, Gussie

To The Ones That Came Before Us

Here's to the ones who came before us.
The ones that taught our daddies to rope and ride the rough off rank ones.
Cowboys that saw the West in its raw.
Wearin six-guns in their belts.
Here's to the old boys ridin devious bastards tied hard and fast.
The ones who ran with "The Kid."
Here's to Tom and Bill and their canny knowledge of the horse.
The ones that took a rook under their wing and taught him the ways; the ones that took me in.
Here's to the ones who never thought they were as handy as they could be.
The ones who were always green in their own minds and wisdom hungry.
To the ones who never quit.
The ones that cried and bled and sweat.
Here's to the ones that held a baby's hand toddling to the corrals.
The ones who made careful that their honey's horse was broke.
The ones always lookin out for each other.
Here's to the legends that set the standard for the cowboy.
The legends with soft eyes and gentle spirits.
The ones who gave us a respectable reputation to uphold.
And last of all, here's to the horses.
The buckers, the gentle giants, the snaky souls and the ones who stole and hold our hearts. Here's to the ones who came before us.



Xoxo, Gussie